I just realised something- "Life is a bitch and then one day you die"

Walk ahead..........cause atleast the end is a reality.

Have been in a debate on how our individuality from within is inflicted by the conditioning from outside and effects our personality.

Our conditioning makes us unable to move freely and unconscious of our own true identity.Infact we sometimes don't ever touch base with our true individuality. Our growing years expose us to religious beliefs and morality as understood by others. We are given a set of dreams in alignment with what our parents want us to do. Our young innocent minds are coloured with the aspirations and goals preset by our society.

It's time to take a look at your own reflection in the mirror, and make a move to break out of whatever you have been conditioned by others to believe about yourself. Let loose-dance-sing-jog-paint-love-do whatever is needed to wake up the sleeping self within.

Only in this awakening will you discover your true self.

I have been grappling with many passing thoughts that were disturbing my mind no end. I took some time out and behind shut doors allowed them to come out in a random order on a piece of paper.What I saw staring at me was a reflections of the confusion that I had borne in my mind.When I saw my thoughts in front of me- I stopped and became conscious...

The awareness that is growing in me now is not the result of any"doing", nor do I need to struggle to make something happen. The darkness has started to dissolve. I allowed myself to settle, and remembered that deep insideI am just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged.

This awareness has opened a channel from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It is helping me to become detached......

Meditation is the key to finding true love.

First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful.

You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness. . You relate; as long as things are moving beautifully, you share.

And if you see that the moment has come to depart because your paths separate at this crossroad, you say good-bye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that you have shared with the other. With no misery, with no pain, you simply separate.

When I was younger, I would spend hours narrating my innocent dreams to Neil. I always wanted a beautiful white house with a red roof and defined black window panes glazed by luscious green palms. I would walk him through the house that reflected my imagination and explain each details with the color of life filling each passing moment. I would imagine how we would together in love make this house our home. A spark of anticipatory delight that one day my dream would be a reality would make me beam with joy.

But now-there is nothing...my mind and heart have fallen to state of blankness. Years ago i would ask Neil what he was thinking and he would tell me that it was a blank feeling.This would astonish the thinking mind that I had....and would ask playfully what a complete waste of a beautiful mind is that....

Little did i realise that in my acceptance of him in the true sense I would accept a feel that was totally unknown to me and make it my way of being.

Reading a good book is like a dialogue with the psyche of the writer. The expressions of the mind take the form of words and put across what goes on in the mind while the author while writing. However this requires the reader to enhance a skill set of reading between the lines and understanding the underlying spirit.

With every page of my book coming along I feeling as though I am unveiling years of conditioning and reaching out to my true expression. I get in touch with my inner guide and write through.

Often one feels a little reluctant to trust this guide because we are so accustomed to taking our cues from the outside rather than from the inside. The truth of the deepest being is tries to show where to go right now...just the trust needs to be instilled.

It speaks in whispers, and sometimes I hesitate, not knowing if I have understood rightly. However the indications are clear and in following the inner guide I will feel more whole, more integrated, as if I know I moving outwards from the very center of my being.

Somehow this there is faith that I will go where I need to go.....

Very often when hear people refering to marriage as the utimate way of getting settled down and becoming grounded.

However being "grounded" or "centered"is actually returning to your Source. There is a vast reservoir of energy available to us. We do not need another person to finAnd that we tap into it not by thinking and planning but by getting grounded, centered, and silent enough to be in contact with the Source. It is within each of us, like a personal, individual sun giving us life and nourishment.

Pure energy, pulsating, available, it is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something, and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest. So go to the Source. It's always waiting for you, and you don't even have to step out of your house to find it.

Well this one is for a friend who called in to let me know that my blog needed some thoughts about love.

What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions.

Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not.

Then, as we mature, we can begin to experience the love that exists beyond sexuality and honors the unique individuality of the other. We begin to understand that our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole.

This love is based in freedom, not expectation or need. Its wings take us higher and higher towards the universal love that experiences all as one.

The last few days have been silent. I am at home nursing a fractured foot. As I see it,it is time to stop and watch......

I have been watching for a while now. In fact just watching the antics of my mind--not judging, not trying to stop them, not identifying, just watching as if they were traffic on the road, or ripples on the surface of a pond.

The antics of the mind are very amusing, they jump up and down and twists in all directions, trying to get my attention and seduce me into the mind game. To develop the knack of taking a distance from the mind is one of the greatest blessings. It is what meditation is all about- just watching, as if the mind belongs to somebody else.

I am ready to keep this distance now, and to watch the show without getting caught up in the drama.

I have had a fixed way of reacting for a while now.Everything seems to be repeating as if I have not learnt my lesson well enough and life comes staring back at me once so often. Infact its time for change.And I know a breakthrough is required when one wants to change the pattern of life.

All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough." At such times it seems we must do something, anything, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy itself. Its the only way bring the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough can bring to your life back into my life.....

So HOLA its time for change....

As I keep interacting with people who cross my path I figure out that each is projecting an image they have constructed in their minds, covering the real face of the person they are . This happens when we are not fully aware of our own expectations, desires and judgments. Instead of taking responsibility for them and owning them, we try to attribute them to others.

Of all credits that I give myself being true to myself is the most realistic one. I might not have done too well by the standards that others have set for me but when I stand in front of a mirror I identify with the person that I see. I have been true to myself at each stage. There will never be another chance so each moment that I live I give it my best shot.....

There are no discount sales for me either. Like a butterfly that has to face the restriction of the cocoon before it break through to develop wings for its maiden flight...the tests that life give me would ensure that what would emerge would be beautiful and well appreciated...

Well I know this is not the usual sorts- but this one is direct dil se....


The silent, mirrorlike receptiveness of a star-filled night
Cradles a woman in wait of her beloved to come
The reflection of the full moon in misty lake below.
Confirms that destiny has a hope to bestow...

She sits deep in meditation....
Praying to the goddess of the night
To give her depth, peace and understanding.
She knows she fights a battle she's losing.
Lost in love she has no boundaries
She waits earnestly for a moment she endears...
When she can get a glimpse of the one she loves so dearly...

Little does she know that in the same star filled night
Her beloved is on a different flight...
He has set out to find his destiny anew.
He is nurtured by prayers that go out from her bleeding heart
While she dwindles in his love....he makes a fresh start.

Hola celebrates Valentine Day....

Have been stuck in office through the day. For once as there were no expectation- I did not not feel hurt. It was a cool day.

However got a free of cost advise which made alot of sense. A friend mentioned that marry someone who shares no common thoughts or interest with you. It makes your life very easy with no complications!!

For a fact when you are together you are married and when you are away you are happy!!!

When the heart is innocent and the walls have disappeared, you are bridged with infinity. And you are not deceived; there is nothing that can be taken away from you. That which can be taken away from you is not worth keeping, and that which cannot be taken away from you... why should one be afraid of its being taken away? It cannot be taken away, there is no possibility. You cannot lose your real treasure.

I keep telling myself that whenever I think of moving ahead...

I have nothing to lose anymore. From here the only way is upward...

So watch out....HOLA will find her destiny

Somewhere in school I heard this quote: "Life is not a Tempest" nor is it a "Midsummer Dream". It is a "Comedy of Errors" so enjoy it "As you like it"....

The moment you start seeing life as non-serious play all the burden on your heart disappears. All the fear of death, of life, of love - everything disappears. One starts living with a very light weight or almost no weight. So with this weightless one can fly in the open sky.

You realise that something wonderful is just on the horizon, and you have just the right quality of playful innocence and clarity to welcome it with open arms...

Also when you can't change the situation you might as well sit and enjoy it....

There is a weird situation in my life today I am not sure what I expected out of it but somewhere there is a disturbing pain.....So this one is for you....

The soul cleansing rain-washed away a tear....
The breeze did put to ease.... A storm.
The solitude that my heart once did fear...
Would now be my friend forever...

Words unspoken but thoughts so clear.
Nothing but a memory.... which is dear.

Slowly I walk down the chosen path.
Where decisions are mine to adhere...

Trust me that somewhere I tried and gave it all that I had.
This should take away the pain and save me from feeling bad...

So think of me as a friend you have...
And not a memory that would cease to be.
For whenever the rainbow would touch a lily.
The singing nightingale would tell u its me...

A thought keeps coming to my mind....I want to become like water.

When I say "become water" I mean become a flow and not remain stagnant. I want to move, and move like water. The movement has a few beautiful things about it. One, it always moves towards the depth, it always searches for the lowest ground. Water goes down, it searches for the lowest ground, it wants to be a nonentity. It does not want to declare itself unique, exceptional, extraordinary. It is the life force yet it has no ego....

The fluidity feel is also reminds me of my thought process....one moment it lost in a blog and then it rushes of to a distant land where my dreams wait for me....

Being by myself in the last few months I have tried to grapple with thoughts on how to handle being alone.

I have come to realise the distinction between being alone and being lonely. There is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. Loneliness is a negative state. The fact of the matter is that the other is not there. Loneliness is absence of the other.

Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

In this state of Aloneness- I have started rediscovering the POWER OF ONENESS. This oneness has made be realise that my mind and heart are no longer separate from each other. Together they are entwined to to create the symphony of my existence.

I guess its just a small step towards enlightment and empowerment.

Just when all the pressures of the everyday chaos becomes overbearing- I ask myself....why do I need to live at all.

The devils advocate has a louder voice than all but what really reaches my heart a whisper made by the angel herself....

You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That's what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss you. The stars and sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth - everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody except you. This gives you a tremendous joy, a fulfillment that you are related to existence, and existence cares for you. Once you are clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all dimensions.

The thought helps me hold on and move on like true to spirit- WARRIOR OF LIGHT.

Hola!!!!