Template-thinking and Linear Assumptions!!!

Just another time when a word tickles my brain…

I am caught in a sort of stupor. I am burdened by the memories of the past, burdened by the projections of the future and miserably failing only to live even at the minimum in the present.

My template-thoughts keep coming back without warning. Fear that I am losing what I myself don’t want to hold…is the craziest assumption that my mind has made. I am not sure why but there is an unrest of a weird sort.

Gosh!! The mind is just not intelligent…..the No-mind is just simply more smart and revolutionary….

I have to stop here and drop all thoughts. Drop the dust that I have collected in the past…allow my inner flame to rise - clean, clear and let it burn the situation out. Right now there is only a dim flame and lots of smoke.

This smoke veil of illusion, keeps me from perceiving reality as it is. I have to respect the turbulence and allow it to settle before the awareness of the no-mind settles in.

Am just wondering whether the smoke is choking others who stand close? Complexities of the mind perplexing the innocent yet again! Trust me, when the mind and no-mind are at war...I am at a loss, too.

On second thoughts, an interplay of Karma and Richard Bach's "fateful cloud", meant to be here to cause this turbulence. A better laid plan that I rather not take ownership of or make claims on...

As for me-would need some introspection and some efforts to be more present and watchful. The key lesson here is to “Step back” and allow the center of witnessing to emerge.

Modesty-This word has caught my attention ever so often being brought up in a hypocritical Asian environment. Till sometime back I always thought the word was being rather ”over stated” and whether it was a virtue at all pushed me to extract the dictionary meaning.

I kept procrastinating on writing this blog and left the draft with just the dictionary meaning. This is very unlike me. However life taught me what I did not learn first go. Unlike others, I always get a second chance to be shaken to the roots should I slip the message or the moral. Guess it’s “ Instant Karma”…

Quote
mod·est adj.
Having or showing a moderate estimation of one's own talents, abilities, and value.
Having or proceeding from a disinclination to call attention to oneself; retiring or diffident.
Observing conventional proprieties in speech, behaviour, or dress.
Free from showiness or ostentation; unpretentious. See synonyms at plain.
Moderate or limited in size, quantity, or range; not extreme: a modest price; a newspaper with a modest circulation.
Unquote

I first became interested in the subject of modesty for a rather mundane reason but now it seems that it has an unfolding relevance.

Many of the problems we hear about today — divorces, infidelity, sexual harassment, young women who suffer from eating disorders and report feeling a lack of control over their bodies — are all connected, to our culture's attack on modesty. Hear us when we use words to describe intimacy: what once was called it "making love," and then "having sex," is now "hooking up". Are we refuelling an aeroplane?.

Culture has for times unknown respected the sanctity of relationships and encouraged fidelity. Respect for self, for the body and a keen check on behaviour have been unquestioned beliefs. In fact early feminists actually praised modesty as ennobling to society. We just learnt to rebel and question all.

I remember a conversation to the following context: "Well, if you want to be modest, be modest. If you want to be promiscuous, be promiscuous. It is a choice but practice it with responsibility. The society’s culture is to be neutral"

Now I do realise that I was wrong.

Culture cannot be neutral. Nor is it subtle in its influence on behaviour. In the end, if it's not going to value modesty, it will value promiscuity and adultery, and all our lives and marriages will suffer as a result.

A sudden awakening has jolted me. My instant karma would play up and it is only due. However I do want to refurbish my thoughts.

Ever wondered what it would feel like to know your end....

I am going to explore

I don't to follow any religion. Religions have been teaching me about subjects which I don't know, and ask me to blindly believe in it because there is no way to bring those experiences into objective reality.

I dont want to live in this believer's world. I want to learn by experience adopting my way: LIVING IT DAILY..AS I LIKE IT (LIDAILI)

It is a dangerous attittude. It is not for the faithful ones; it is for those daring souls who can drop all belief, unbelief, doubt, reason, mind, and simply enter into their pure existence without boundaries. But it brings a tremendous transformation.

Hence, let me say that while others are involved in philosophies, I want to be involved in metamorphosis, in a transformation. It is an authentic alchemy: it would change from base metal into gold. But its language has to be understood, not with your reasoning and intellectual mind but with your loving heart. Or even just listening, not bothering whether it is true or not.


And a moment comes suddenly that you see it, which has been eluding you your whole life.

SORATH, FIFTH MEHL:
The Lord is always with me. The Messenger of Death does not approach me. God holds me close in His embrace, and protects me. True are the Teachings of the True Guru. 1 The Perfect Guru has done it perfectly. He has beaten and driven off my enemies, and given me, His slave, the sublime understanding of the neutral mind. 1 Pause God has blessed all places with prosperity. I have returned again safe and sound. Nanak has entered Gods Sanctuary. It has eradicated all disease. 2 24 88
Friday, 20th Katak (Samvat 538 Nanakshahi)
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These beautiful words from the Guru Granth Sahib are symbolising the protective life force. As I tread through the challenges in life, I find true solace in taking his name. In aloneless, I find completeness as I am always protected by the caring divine hand that saves me from falling into fundamental darkness.

I have often drifted to find where my origin is. Looked at alternative beliefs, other practices and got more confused. Eventually I found my roots within my own religon. I am not a preacher nor do I advocate my religon but yes I do advocate the good has become my innate nature by being a true sikh- a learner.

Being married doesn't guarantee happiness in life. Remaining single is not a sign of defeat.

What matters most is living a happy and meaningful life! When that happens, being single or married is no longer an issue. Most married people are no happier than single people. Live in a way that you can be happy and completely fulfilled just the way you are. Happiness is determined by our life condition, no whether we are single or married. The important thing is to develop a life condition dedicated to your mission for being alive.

"Happiness is not something that someone else, like a lover, can give to us. We have to achieve it for ourselves. And the only way to do so is by developing our character and capacity as human beings, by fully maximizing our potential … What is important now is to work hard at developing yourselves into truly wonderful human beings … Ultimately, the relationships you form are a reflection of your own state of life."


It dawns on me that the gap between the ideal and the real me seemed to grow apart with the passing of years. How could that be? I am supposed to become more compassionate, more connected and in touch with the people around. I have been introspecting and spending time reading and being meditative.

The clarity and dynamism is spilling over into my environment. I have begun to see clearly there areas in my life that needed a breakthrough.

I am taking initiatives to reach out to people I had problems with, and resolve the grudges I had held in my heart. I am changing my attitude at work, and pray sincerely to expand my ability to make a difference.

I am seeing the results- there is a renewed energy to LIVE LIFE QUEENSIZE :))

SORATH, NINTH MEHL:
In this world, I have not found any true friend. The whole world is attached to its own pleasures, and when trouble comes, no one is with you. 1 Pause Wives, friends, children and relatives  all are attached to wealth. When they see a poor man, they all forsake his company and run away. 1 So what should I say to this crazy mind, which is affectionately attached to them? The Lord is the Master of the meek, the Destroyer of all fears, and I have forgotten to praise Him. 2 Like a dogs tail, which will never straighten out, the mind will not change, no matter how many things are tried. Says Nanak, please, Lord, uphold the honor of Your innate nature; I chant Your Name. 3 9
Tuesday, 17th Katak (Samvat 538 Nanakshahi)

These words are a direct english translation from the Guru Granth Sahib Hukumnama at the Golden Temple. I have often wandered in search of the truth. Have agrued endlessly whether truth is more powerful or love. I was a fool...

The two are not separate from each other. Love is the truth and Truth is Love. Both entwine to be present in the mere whisper of the name of Lord himself. The reality of life, the truth is that true love is not by attachment, for the mind is attached to wordly possessions. True love is opening your heart to all alike...touching each person, each living being...with true compassion and care.

In this true compassion and care, I find myself like the almighty...for God is not separate from you and me. With each good deed he surfaces and when we deviate from our paths..he waits patiently till we hit upon realisation and become our true nature again.

The vastness of the sea is overwhelming. I sat there staring at violent waves that calmed down as the caressed the shores. I thought to myself, this is the relationship between life and man.

Life like the Sea is so vast, so diverse, so full of energy and abundance. When it touches us it has the ability to mold us into being the people that we are. The gentle waves change the face of the land, causing impressions that make the beauty of the beaches unparalleled. We too as people are moulded by life and we are beautiful because of the experienes we have.

Like the shore that makes itself available to the waves-make yourself available to life. It will never leave you without a lesson.

Open your arms and let the cool breeze blow into your face....

I am often asked what inspires me to write. There are many experiences that have shaped my life. There have been good and bad times. Along with each of the gliches came small bounties that saved me from falling flat on my face and dampening my spirit.

I write for all those people who come into my life, at the time when I least expect any hope and lend me a comforting shoulder. As unlucky as I have been wordly relationships, I have been blessed with wonderful friends who help me to keep my spirits alive.

I hope this deepawali- brings in new hope and light to each of those beautiful lives that brighten me.

A message for all my single friends:

No one whether a current or future mate has any obligation to provide you happiness on a platter. You are responsible for your own happiness and no man will ever come to satisfy the hunger or need.

Just remind yourself- that you are the main course youself whereas your man is the dessert.

So while you wait for the dessert to come by- its good to be on a diet :))

Am not going to credit myself to this one..a very dear friend has some beautiful memories attached with this number.

So dearie this one is for you- for being such a fantastic friend and confidante.


When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....

Had a long conversation with an ol' friend about how we share the karmic patterns of others. We were trying to deduce a quick and easy way to cut through.

Long ago I had read in one of the Richard Bach books that like every cloud has its journey predecided,we too have our destiny predecided. Every person is there in your life for a reason, you may not see it from where you stand, but there is a bigger plan of which you are a part.

Life may not have taken the desired turns for me, there is a alot that I want to run back to change. Yet again i think- would I be me, if it was not for the events that shaped my personality, I would not be half the woman I am today .When the negative hits I just remind myself: "What does not kill you, makes you a better person."

All the religions of the world have said God exists. I don't know whether he is there or not, but one thing I know: the more contained and calm you become, the more godly you become.

Love what you do and appreciate where you are. Be meditative while you are doing it - be rest assured it one of the best laid plans.

There is a new awakening.
My sorrows have come to an end.

The love that once soared me to boundaries undefined.
Died at the source,giving my stifling heart some respite.

Now skies upon skies are available for my flight.
For now there is no love that possesses-just oneness

I have shifted out of the paradigm and merged with the whole
No man no woman will tear me to pieces again

The dividing priced possession has been smashed.
Today I killed the love in my mind...

I am free to fly-and my ecstasy is boundary less

I am celebrating freedom.....

Ripples of water under the lotus leaves
Define a moment precious and poignant.

A drop has surrendered to gravity and slipped off the leaf,
Ready to lose its previous identity and joins the vastness of the water below.

I imagine that it must have trembled before it fell,
Hanging just on the edge between the known and the unknowable.

I too hang on the edge of life
Subtly I recognise something is completing.

The sadness is building but I try not to hold on.
I remind myself -Something greater is awaiting

New dimensions are there to be discovered.
I am past the point of no return now, and gravity is doing its work.

So like a drop on the edge I shall-go with it-for liberation.

I wait as it the only thing to do.
Slowly as life moves in a direction unknown to me

I watch the oyster coat the grain of sand and making it into a pearl.
Watching my emotions as they shed like a withering whirl.

Through all the phases of the moon passing overhead
I must be patient, so in tune with the rhythms of the moon

Soaring in unity to become one with it.
It time to be passive, letting nature take its course.

I cannot be sleepy or exude indifference
For soon I know its going to be time for something momentous.

It is a time full of mystery, like the hours just before the dawn.
It is a time when the only thing to do is to wait.

So I wait as it the only thing to do.
Slowly as life moves in a direction unknown to me

I want to open up to the world. I realise that my life should reach out to others.

The blissfulness, the benediction, the ecstasy should not be contained within me like a seed. It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too. This is real compassion, this is real love: sharing enlightenment, sharing the joy of my dance of the beyond.

I want to be like the Queen of Rainbows that has reached the apex of its flowering and its colors. I want to beem with sexual energy, very alive, and full of possibilities. I want to snap my fingers to the music of love.

In my palm I shall hold an abundance of seeds, and as the wind blows the seeds will be scattered to take root where they may. I am not concerned whether they land on the soil or on the rocks - I just want to spread them everywhere in sheer celebration of life and love.

I want to float on the waters of emotion swirl playfully and spread my joy around for all to share.

At- SHUNIYA- the Zero level fool.

I have nothing more to lose.

Moment to moment, and with every step, like a fool I leave the past behind. I carry nothing more than purity, innocence and trust.I want to be in harmony with all that surrounds me. My intuition is functioning at its peak. At this moment I believe I have the support of the universe to make this jump into the unknown. Adventures await me in the river of life.

I am at a no loss situation and the 'zero' place occupied by mel is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.

Life is rarely as serious as we believe it to be, and when we recognize this fact, it responds by giving us more and more opportunities to play.

I am going to the joy of being alive, like a butterfly that has emerged from its chrysalis into the promise of the light. I remind myself of the time that I was a child, discovering seashells on the beach or building castles in the sand without any concern that the waves might come and wash them away in the next moment. I know that life is a game, and I have to carry on with no sense of embarrassment or pretense.

I remind myself that something wonderful is just on the horizon, and I have just the right quality of playful innocence and clarity to welcome it with open arms...

Even though I might not need men- I still do wait for my Knight in Shining Armour

I am feeling "all tied up in knots". I know I have a light that still shines within, but sometimes I feel I suppress my own vitality trying to meet so many demands and expectations.

I give up my power and vision in return for being accepted by the very same forces that have imprisoned them. The danger is apparent because a volcanic eruption about to take place.I am trying to find a healing outlet for this potential explosion. It is essential to find a way to release whatever tensions and stresses might be building up inside me right now.

Guess am going to beat on a pillow, jump up and down, go out into the wilderness and scream at the empty sky--anything to shake up my energy and allow it to circulate freely. I just cant wait for a catastrophe to happen...

I guess I need to cut the crap and remind myself- I DONT NEED MEN

My past is no more and my future is not yet: both are unnecessarily moving in directions which don't exist.

One used to exist, but no longer exists, and one has not even started to exist.

The only reality is here,in the reality of now.

I am listening to my heart, move according to my heart, whatsoever the stake.

A condition of complete simplicity costing not less than everything.... To be simple is arduous, because to be simple costs everything that you have. I have to lose all to be simple.Many people have chosen to be complex and they have forgotten how to be simple. But only a simple heart throbs with the present reality, hand in hand. Only a simple heart sings in deep harmony.

I have found my present, my heart, my own throb, my own beat.