Warrior of Light conflicted!!

A recent sense check did not paint a pretty picture.

When you try too hard without actual focus of the journey it always ends up in disaster. While the Paulo Cohelo fan in me does lead me back to the legendary quote of truly wanting something and the entire universe conspiring to make it come true…there is a need to take note of the underlying spirit of this in light of the Laws of Attraction.

Life will unfold at it’s own pace and at most times what stares at your face is a manifestation of very deep rooted thoughts and emotions that sometimes you don’t even know existed. Oh my, have I had a rude awakening of what has been operating in the realms of my subconscious mind. I seem to have been caught up in running after what is not meant to be while hiding behind a façade of control and simplicity. The closest of my relationships/friendships are turning all complex and unrecognizable. My past clings to me or is it me still latching on….and the ugliness of reality has started to creep into my present. I sometimes don’t even recognize the person I see in the mirror….has this been a result of working against the life forces in a manner that totally twists the judgment to make a decent call.

There is only one way out- LET GO and TRUST.

Hola will need to take a plunge and this time there is no “safety belt”. However what is different is the trust that the universe will not disappoint me…it never has. My answers will emerge if only I am present…to little lessons. The life force is more of a friend to me than I am a friend to myself…

On the sensitive subject of relationships I realized- I must first meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then only will it be simple, not as convoluted as now. I don't need to depend on others and neither do I need to make others dependent on me. I just have to keep it simple….

Then it is always friendliness. It does not need to become a relationship, it can exist as relatedness. At this juncture of life I just need to relate, but not create a relationships/ or a marriage. Marriage is out of fear, relatedness is out of love.


As long there is sharing and relatedness everything will be beautiful. And if a moment does come to depart because paths separate at a crossroad then I will not hold back…. I will say good-bye with great gratitude for all that the other has been, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that one has shared and just walk away….like a true warrior of light.