I have been thinking about being a woman is all about. Is it about being receptive to all that the universe might have to offer. an anology can be drawn with a vessel through which water flows....

Receptivity represents the feminine, receptive quality of water and of the emotions. A woman's arms are extended upwards to receive, and she is completely immersed in the water. She has no head, no busy and aggressive mind to hinder her pure receptivity. And as she is filled she is continuously emptying herself, overflowing, and receiving more. The lotus pattern or
matrix that emerges from her represents the perfect harmony of the universe that becomes apparent when we are in tune with it.

The Queen of Water brings a time of unboundedness and gratitude for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands. Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important. Sensitivity, intuition and compassion are the qualities that shine forth now, dissolving all the obstacles that keep us separate from each other and from the whole.

This emptying out is also creating space for something new to come fill.....

Well its Sunday and I am in office.

The reason today is not the work load but the fact that I am running away from reality. I am absconding from the feeling of being alone and not having much to do to on a day that I get off. I know this is contrary to what I have written in the past.....but sometimes one just carries on to pass time.

Being a single woman is not an easy bet. The Indian society looks at you with a certain sham that overrides any achievement you might have got being in the position that you are in. The most heart rendering feel is when you get it from your own people. I have walked out of home today with an emotion which seems to create mixed thought process. One part of me feels as I have been let down and the contrarian thought tells me that I have just freed myself of any expectations that might have pinned me down..... I am a free bird but with injured wings....

I will look around for my destiny- as its for me to make some choices and create a life....

A gentle breeze that touches my cheek,
…wipes away a tear that heals.
A soft touch that warms my heart and makes me feel
…that somewhere a rainbow has brightened the aura of a blooming bud.
Where a whiff of fresh air has whisked away an unknowing seed
…to carry it to fertile lands where it will find its destiny anew.
My heart that once screamed out for love today beats to a silent rhythm
….every vessel drums to its tune.
A warm luscious feel has carried me to a warm distant land where love is the feel of life…a natural way to be….it’s a beautiful feeling

Thinking positive and telling myself to "Never say Die"...

Thats my motivating factor these days.

Have been working like a maniac for the last few days-almost 14 hours daily. I keep getting pulled in all directions and go crazy maintaining this black diary which has refreshed TO DO list each day which never ends....

I often feel as though I have a larger pile of files on my desk as compare to anyone else in my office.....
I feel that more people call me for help-a day never goes by without a friend calling in with some issue.....
Family calls in through the day to remind me of chores they want me to do.I have a never ending list of calls to do......
I get invited for more parties than I can manage....
I have more bills to pay at the end of each month.....
A longer list of guys I have whose heart I have broken or got ditched by each passing year.......

On the positive side- this just goes to say:

I am capable of working hard...
My friends still feel they can trust me....
My family still relies on me despite our differences....
The social circle accepts me...
I still can shop and fulfil my little desires as I am earning...
And last but not the least- my heart still is capable of loving!!!!

Phew- Hola u r an ENERGY BUBBLE!!!!

I wonder sometimes whether I need to be in a relationship at all. Somewhere the idea of being in a relationship has started making me jittery. I rather just remain in the comfort zone of being with friends rather than stepping into a bond and getting lost in an array of expectations.

Paulo Cohelo says when a Warrior of light looks at the sunset and does not feel the same exuberating feeling that he once felt- its time to fall in love. The fact of the matter is that is more often than not we make others the source our happiness. How can the beautiful plush rays of the sun not warm your heart? Do I really need to be in love to appreciate the rainbow?
Maybe....and again maybe not.....

As i spend time discovering new facets of my own being the thin line that demarcates happiness from rapture becomes clear.....

I feel like a nightingale all set to capture the vastness of the skies.....

Luscious green meadows that stretch far and wide.
Smiling little lilies that hold themselves up with pride...
Swinging and dancing to a gentle breeze.
Somewhere the tempest has been put to ease...
The little nightingale sings with a steadying voice.
Not bleeding to the thorn has been a destined choice...
A hand of passion has held her firmly and pulled out there piercing
pain...
Now she will fly again...for if ever the tempest tries to storm her life again
It would be an effort but all in vain

Breaks are good!!!

The last few days I have taken a break from carrying the weight of my thinking cap. The year has started well. I am not not making plans or pushing myself over the edge-just sitting back and taking each day as it comes.

My life seems to have become better with the Delhi Metro coming live. It takes me only 20 minutes to reach office as against an hour long autorickshaw ride in the cold. Not to forget I save on about 60% of cash....so no more cribbing!!!

I am out for dinner with some friends today being a saturday night. Hopefully lady luck would shine and I would meet someone nice :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.....

Its time for a new beginning...I am planning to make some changes.How about changing the trend and not make any new resolutions . Every year I get into this exercise of making resolutions, then spend the entire month of jan breaking them.

Will write in soon.....

Cheerio to all